.Wednesday, March 5, 2008 ' 9:37 AM Y
sleepless night weak body tired brain. flash flash flash.! memory just flash through my brain. remind me of everything i had to remember. work tml continue for 4 days. cant imagine what life would be like, fighting against each other for commission.? we shall see.
What am i thinking? what am i looking toward? what am i hoping? I ask myself these questions. And i had the answer to it. I'm holding on hoping wishing just for that moment. No matter how hard it is, i tried. Yet disappointment is what i receive. Is it that hard to understand other? Cos I just don't understand human. Or I'm being selfish? High-expectation? Maybe i should just go back to my normal way of living. In a zoo with the same kinda species, understanding each other. I'm just wasting my time on earth. How should i live? For other? For myself? I'm sick of thinking of how other feel and think. Sick of worry of people, causing myself to feel unease. Can i change the fact? No i can't. Fact remain as fact. So human does change eventually. Different from who i know at first. Yet i'm staying at the same spot remain unchanged. I hate it when friends change till i don't dare to acknowledge them, they seem like a stranger to me. That feeling still clear to me. I could remember clearly how friends change overnight, we could be laughing joking this moment and the next moment they become a person who i don't understand. If thing goes on this way, i don't know how to carry on. So the ending still remain the same.
ps: don't ask me what happen, don't ask me why! I'm not in the mood to entertain people. Don't feel like doing anything but think of what going on. Memories printer notes? Do i look like i have a choice?
